One of the joys of being on the open ocean is that I am far outside any
legal jurisdiction. British. American. Even my mother's. Of course,
opportunities for taking advantage of this freedom are rather limited.
If I decided it was okay to break all kinds of laws (which obviously it
isn't), there's not much I could do about it. No shops to shoplift, no
restaurants to do a runner from, not even any "Keep off the grass" signs
to ignore.

In fact, I'm a very law-abiding citizen. So much so that I even have my
own set of ship's rules – although these are very flexible and subject
to a large amount of personal discretion. After all, the captain has the
final word.

1. Always empty the bedpan over the downwind side of the boat.
Always. No exceptions.
2. Listen to audiobooks only while actually rowing.
3. Keep rowing until the Raillight comes on (it comes on
automatically at dusk – although dusk often seems a long time coming) –
see photo
4. Keep cabin hatches closed at night – just in case of rogue waves
5. Clear the decks before retiring for the night – sun canopy
furled and stowed, all other objects secured or put away. Any objects
left unsecured are likely to be gone by morning.
6. Blog every night before bed. No excuses, short of death – of
self, satphone or computer
7. No whingeing, whining, grumbling or bitching – although
enthusiastic and creative swearing is actively encouraged for
therapeutic purposes
8. Speed limit of 5mph strictly enforced (yeah, right, like I could
go any faster)
9. Strictly no consorting with members of the opposite sex (chance
would be a fine thing)
10. And of course, no smoking, drinking, or disturbing the neighbors
at closing time.

Other Stuff:

36 nautical miles today, according to the ship's log. Good stuff!

Tonight I took a photo of my bottom – the only way I could see what was
going on down there. Absolutely horrifying. I don't know whether to be
gratified or aghast that it looks even worse than it feels. Chafed
doesn't even begin to describe it. I definitely need a bum transplant.

My stereo is on the blink. This is rather annoying, given that I am less
than 3 weeks into my voyage and it hasn't even been a wet one, so
there's really no excuse. It now regards the on/off and play/pause
buttons as purely advisory. Sometimes it takes notice, sometimes it
doesn't. With some coaxing I can usually get it to play, but it seems
its days may be numbered. Not impressed.

Weather report:

Position at 2000 HST: 16 39.204N, 163 11.301W
Wind: 15-18kts ENE
Seas: 3ft E
Weather: hot sun, very occasional clouds


  • So where's the bum picture? Just kidding. Row on! I still think you are amazing and wish I could have just a teeny bit of your courage and strength! Ahh alas perhaps someday I'll find where I've hidden my own.

  • Dear Roz,
    Blessings for your bum and your tunes – I know I would really miss the music. I wish I could air drop you some spare iPods.

    So I will do the next best thing and meditate that good wishes come your way and the mele (Hawaiian for music) stops pouting.

    Love, Rox

  • The Bum always takes the most abuse.

    Electronics and the ocean are not conducive with each other.

  • Hi Roz
    i send you all the best and a cool breeze (it's about 70°F here in switzerland) for your bum.

  • Rule #1 is universal. Sorry about your bum. Keeping it "high and dry" would help, but might scare the birds.

    Great progress! Jim

  • Seriously? No bum photo? Think of the posterity of your posterior.

    I fear I'll get nowhere with this line of inquiry. I am sorry to hear about the music situation – but glad that you are making good progress in your journey.

    Let's hope the stereo malfunction is the worst news of the trip. Take care.

  • Dully,
    Do you also have a rule to always be tethered to the boat when you jump overboard for a cooling off??? Please say you do.

  • Very sorry for your bumache. Sounds serious. I hope you have and do all that is needed to avoid infections. Allow me to offer yet another Rule that may help you along the way and that is so often surpressed while on land – LoL all you want, as often as you want and no less than twice a day 😉 – Beside making us think I know you make us laugh as well.

  • Have you used Bag Balm on your bum? It might make the seat a trifle sticky but that would reduce friction. We use the stuff on animal feet and fetlocks to protect them in soggy conditions. Best wishes from me and Patricia.
    PS: Pleased to hear that you are following King Neptune's rules!

  • Roz,
    My favorite of your rules is #7. That's one I try to practice, – and they are all good rules (metaphorically, at least) for Life.
    Toni Gattone (of Wonderful Women) and I were together yesterday, and marvelling about you. We are getting our pedometers today.
    I check in on you everyday.
    Sending love, encouragement, and gratitude,

  • Sorry to hear the onset of spotty botty is so early this time. I hope some of the home team can advise you of repairs or workarounds for the stereo.

    Things to do if you can't listen to audiobooks on the speakers:
    Write your own novel in your head (intrepid ocean rower meets up with Navy SEALS on secret mission).
    Decide who will play you in the movie. (Kate Winslet would nail it, I think.)
    Think of what sort of offering would appease the Bum Rash Fairy.
    Plot revenge on that mate of yours who so lovingly described the scrumptious meal to you while you're at sea.

  • Roz, I'm totally "bummed" as I think about you and promise no wingeing (can you translate?) after my wimpy 2-hour rows. I love your rules and your self-discipline – an inspiration to all, and to me…I have been a bit off of my game lately and am struggling to "keep pulling." Will think of you as my guiding light. Love from me and from N. xo e.

  • Here's some hopes for your bum's wellness from my little corner of Illinois. I'd just like you to know that I admire your courage and strength.

  • Sorry about your "bum" Nothing worse than a sore one especially when you have several months more to row.
    That's the S@#&% about your stereo. Hard to listen to books without it.
    Hope you find a solution to your sore "bum" and the sound system quickly. Love rules.
    Be safe and will keep watching.

  • From one rower to another… keep tapping away!

    You are truly inspiring!

    Thinking of you from a chiili Johannesburg in South Africa!

    Your 'new' follower…


    P.S. If you're ever keen to cross an ocean in a pair (well something more sturdy) and looking for a partner… let me know

  • I have lots of experience with eczema break-outs, although thankfully not on the bum. Here are some things that I've learned over the years; water can be a skin irritant, so keep it as dry as possible, even my own sweat can trigger an outbreak. Surprisingly, the sun is wonderfully healing for my skin. Get 10 minutes of sun directly on the area without sunscreen, I believe it kills bacteria, mold, and fungus that can grow on the skin. If there's any broken skin apply polysporin, it's great for preventing infection and speeds healing. Cortisone cream is really good, much better than tea tree oil for reducing inflammation (I've tried tea tree oil). icing the area (not available for you), keeping it as cool as possible, Gold bond powder, calamine lotion, those are good too. Do you have any antibiotics on board incase an infection develops? Watch out for redness of the area, fluids oozing, pain, and red streaks. A red streak is quite serious in your case, you will need oral or intravenous antibiotics to stop it, because if the streak reaches your heart it's fatal. Being out there without access to doctors and medical attention makes this much more serious situation than for us on dry land. If I were you, I'd stop rowing for a day or two, stand up or lie on my stomach, and concentrate on healing the skin, which means giving your entire body lots of rest and nutrition. Your body has to be listened-to, and right now your body is giving you messages loud and clear, it's saying that it can't take being sat on, and experiencing friction for 10+ hours a day in extreme hot weather!

    Rowing for several hours a day in extreme hot and humid conditions is extremely taxing on the body as a whole, you've got to be kind to your body, it's all you've got out there! When you can go back to rowing, pad your seat with dry towels, and row for only as long as your skin allows, that might be a half hour, or a few minutes at a time. ( just my 2 cents worth, you certainly don't have to take my advice).

  • I too, hope you have a rule about being tethered to the boat. I've been worrying ever since you said you had gone in without a tether. Also, are sharks a worry when you go in or is that just in movies?

  • A truly painful experience. I suspect the idea of taking a day off to give your south-side a rest is painful as well. If I might second the suggestion of taking a day off when the winds are most favorable to give your bumm a rest. Its earned it . . . . one day off a month can hardly be considered slacking.

  • Wishing your bottom a speed recovery, can you row any other way?;-)

    Hope the stereo will keep on working for a little bit longer, what else do you have to keep you entertained? As someone else already said, I wish I could give you my ipod, it is full of Brazilian songs! Yeep, just what you need now. 🙂

    Keep up the good work-you are truly amazing.

    Sending you good thoughts.

    Michelle Waterman

  • Singing, tapping, laughing and LAUGHING take your mind off the agony of rowing with a bad bum … so hum this happy snappy tune and you'll be glad. "Mum's the word" it will also appease your jurisdictional authority. Mum!

    All together now …

    Lovely Rita meter maid
    Lovely Rita meter maid

    Lovely Rita meter maid,
    Nothing can come between us.
    When it gets dark I tow your heart away.

    Standing by a parking meter,
    When I caught a glimpse of Rita,
    Filling in a ticket in her little white book.
    In a cap she looked much older,
    And the bag across her shoulder
    Made her look a little like a military man.

    Lovely Rita meter maid,
    May I inquire discreetly,
    When are you free to take some tea with me?

    Took her out and tried to win her.
    Had a laugh and over dinner,
    Told her I would really like to see her again.
    Got the bill and Rita paid it.
    Took her home I nearly made it,
    Sitting on the sofa with a sister or two.

    Oh, lovely Rita meter maid,
    Where would I be without you?
    Give us a wink and make me think of you.

  • like your rules! especially the one about writing your blogs!! 😉 A leader knows how to make rules and you are a true leader. Wishing you good weather and a good rows day tomorrow. Respond to your bolg soon. –SSgt Barrett

  • Roz,
    Are you going to make a layover before Tuvalu? You are making such good time. Looks like you are aiming straight for Baker Island. It would be so cool to see some pics, even if you just pass by.
    Keep on Rowin' – Dore from Hawaii

  • Dear Ms. Savage, Bum suggestion (you may think so) : Try using extra clothes to make a doughnut shaped cushion to rest your weary bum on. Preg. Women use cushions foam or inflateable (sp) to rest and protect their bums. Just love saying bum, bum…. Use this set-up in my kayak. Respectfully, Old Boy Scout

  • Roz, Next time pack a few really (big or small?) mole skis for you bum.
    Anything else broke besides the sterio?

    Almost 6PM here in another 3, I'll have a cold brew for ya.

    Happy rowing.

  • Sorry Rox, I misspelled that, its Mole Skins. Runners put them in their shoes I guess, to prevent blisters.

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